The anatomy of a decision

As always, I delayed in writing this, but here it finally is. I wanted to blog/journal about the recent decision process of choosing between the job offer at the University of Cape Town (UCT) and the potential offer at the University of Nairobi (UN). The benefits of each are outlined in previous postings, so I will not go there. What I want to talk about is what I learned/relearned about myself in this process.
My first confession is that I am not very good at making decisions. For those of who know me well, you know that this is true. I agonize over everything. Pretty sure that it will shorten my life. This decision was no different and there did not appear to be any clear leading towards one or the other. And when it boiled down to the moment of decision on April 30th, I couldn't do it. I asked UCT for a week extension and made a deal with God that if UN offered me a job during that week, that is where we were going. We'll never know if I would have keep that promise because the UN door was closed that week, ultimately making the decision straightforward, for which I am immensely grateful.
Now, my decision struggles was not something new, but as always my struggles brought me before God seeking guidance and direction. A couple of things that He pointed out to me is what I really want to share with you.
First, I have been listening to a book entitled Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell during my runs. Recently, I was listening to it and the author described having a breakdown in the midst of leading a wildly popular church. He visited a counselor and described that he was overwhelmed and wasn't sure why he was doing all of this. After talking through his problems for a while, the counselor pointed out that Rob was spending most of his time trying to please the people around him or being the "Super Pastor." The counselor reminded Rob that there is only one goal that he should pursuing: "to relentlessly pursue all that God had created him to be." Everything is secondary to that goal. As I thought about the decision that I was trying to make, who was I trying to please? I certainly wanted to help this guy in Nairobi. I wanted my friends and family to think that I was going to be a real missionary by going someplace more difficult, like Nairobi, instead a vacation spot, Cape Town. It just really made me stop and think about the motivations behind my indecision.
Second, I received the same Oswald Chambers post from two different people entitled The Graciousness of Uncertainty, which I am sure was not a coincidence. Oswald Chambers says things in a way that no one else can. The entire devotional is good, but what struck me was: "Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing," which is so true, but then he said: "We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next." Once again, I was struck by the misdirection of my focus. I was feeling like my/our entire future hinged on this one decision, but it wasn't true. God doesn't change and as long as I was focused on him and pursuing what He created me to be, the uncertainty in life would work itself out and could actually be exciting. Wow, now that is a concept!
Now, I can only hope that these ideas will stay with me as I continue to make decisions regarding our future (hopefully it will help to write it down). Just remember: I am striving to pursue what God created me to be and my focus is on God and not on the certainty surrounding me.

Peterson Update: the end is near?

Here is an email that I sent out to our email list this week. Let me know if you want to be added to the list.

Hello all, just wanted to give you the latest on the job search. Two weeks ago, I received via email an official job offer from the University of Cape Town, which is very exciting. They decided to open up a second experimental position and offer it to me. I think that their first offer to Andrew is still open, but he is wanting to delay it two years, presumably prompting the second offer. Anyway, they have given me 3 weeks to decide, which ends on April 30th.

In the meantime, I have been corresponding with the chair of the Physics Dept at the University of Nairobi and the process has been progressing and looks promising. The Physics Dept agreed to consider me for a Lecturer (professor) position and has submitted the request to the Principal (Dean of Science) who has in turn passed it on to the Vice Chancellor. So, we are now waiting to hear back from him.

These are both exciting possibilities and we are constantly weighing the options, Cape Town vs. Nairobi. Baring a huge breakdown in Nairobi, it looks like we will be making a decision this week about where we will be moving in August. We currently are unsure of where God is leading us to go, with both being very good options. Please pray with us this week as we consider the two locations and seek God's direction. We appreciate your support and will keep you posted, Steve & Diana

PS. Our baby has reached full-term! We just hit 37 weeks and are less then 3 weeks from the due date. It is hard to believe our baby is almost here. Pray for Diana and the baby as we near this amazing and slightly terrifying event. (And maybe pray a little for me too :)

Peterson Update: the Job Search Continues

Here is an email that I sent out to our email list last week.  Let me know if you want to be added to the list.

    Hello friends, I just wanted to give you an update on the job search.  There have been quite a few developments and we would love if you could pray with us as we wait and discern God's direction.  I also apologize for waiting so long to let you know what has been going on.
    First, the University of Cape Town (UCT) emailed me soon after I returned from South Africa, telling me that they had offered the position to another candidate.  I was discouraged when I heard this because I felt the interview went quite well.  Although, they did tell me that if this initial offer was declined, then they would extend the offer to me.  Now, four weeks later, the chair of the UCT Physics Dept. emailed me today informing me that they could possibly be extending me an offer in the next week or so.  This is exciting news, but is tempered slightly by another opportunity that we have been pursuing in Kenya.
    Second, the University of Nairobi (UN) became an exciting option a few weeks ago when my sister (Joy) contacted a missionary friend in Nairobi on my behalf to ask about connections to the university there, specifically in Physics.  She forwarded me the response she got, which read: the head of the Physics Dept at the University of Nairobi is in our REAL Group. His prayer request every week for over a year has been for the staffing shortage in his dept. He keeps trying to hire from everywhere, and business keep poaching his talent. Can I forward your email to him?  Needless to say, we just about jumped out of our skin because of this incredible connection that had been orchestrated by God.  In the midst of the disappointment from UCT, this was such great news and we immediately felt this is where God wanted us to go.  So, I contacted the chair of the Physics Dept. and sent him my CV.  He responded with a email saying that he has initiated the process to consider me for a position.  (I know, kind of cryptic, but really just academic talk for this might take a while).  Now, three weeks later, I am still waiting to hear more from UN and getting a bit concerned.
    Third, it looks like we will have an impending decision to make concerning the job at UCT and although Diana and I both want the security of knowing where we will be moving to, we want the assurance of knowing God's direction more.  We would ask for you to pray with us to seek what God's wants before our own wants and that his direction will be clear.  We appreciate your willingness to pray with us.  Sorry for the length and I promise to keep you posted more frequently.  Thank you, Steve & Diana Peterson

Trip to Cape Town: Day 6 (Thur, Feb 25)

Last day in Cape Town. The tentative plan was to try and hike up to the top of Table Mountain. Since our flight was at 3:50 pm, so we figured that we needed to leave around 7:00 am to walk up and down and get back in time to head to the airport and return the retnal cars. After some discussion, we decided that that was too early to get up, so we got together at 9:30 am and rode up the cabel car instead. The picture on the right is looking up to the top of the cable car and you can see that the clouds were rolling in from the back side of Table Mountain, so when we got up there, we could see too much. Here are some pictures of Cape Town from bottom of cable car.

I did take this cool video of the clouds rolling in. I sped up the video to make it go by a little faster.


And here is a video of a snake that we saw sitting on a rock on top of Table Mountain. He is not happy that we were watching him.


After heading back down, I got washed up and headed to the airport. The trip home was uneventful, but extremely long. Got to watch four movies on the way home (The Informant, 9, Duplicity, State of Play) and tried to sleep as much as possible. Happy to be home. Now we wait to hear back from UCT.

Trip to Cape Town: Day 5 (Wed, Feb 24)

My third full day in Cape Town started with another amazing breakfast (I skipped the run because my legs can't currently handle running on three consecutive days). After breakfast, I headed up to the UCT campus to use the internet and try to upload some pictures and videos. Turns out the campus internet is difficult to connect to and incredibly slow, so that did not work out so well.

The plan for the day was to tour iThemba LABS, the national cyclotron facility about 15 miles north on Cape Town. At 10:45, I headed down to meet Rudolph, one of the Physics lecturers, at teatime. After an interesting discussion about health care policies with some of the Physics faculty and students over tea and coffee, we headed out to iThemba. After a 20-25 minute drive, we arrived, stopped at the gate to get our passes and drove around this large building (picture above). The other thing that I noticed was the wildlife inside the compound. There were birds, gazelles (picture left, new movie studio in background) and even zebra just wandering around the buildings. Rudolph tells me that the animals are there to reassure the public that radiation is safe.

iThemba LABS (Laboratory for Accelerator-Based Sciences) has two basic operations and is split into two halves, a medical radiation half and Physics research half. The director of the medical radiation portion was going to be my tour guide for the day, but there was some problem with his son, so he was not able to come. Instead, Rudolph showed around until one of the Medical Physicists was able to take over. There is a hospital wing where patients could stay if necessary, a CT scanner to image the patients and find the tumors, a proton treatment room and a neutron treatment room. There was a patient undergoing neutron treatment while we were there. The facility was impressive, but clearly set up more for research than for clinical aesthetics. There was also an effort to build another proton treatment room, but had stalled due to a lack of funding.

Over lunch (toasted tomato and cheese sandwich), I found out that they were looking for a research Physicist with Monte Carlo experience (right up my alley minus the teaching). In the afternoon, we headed back to campus, but Rudolph wanted to show me another area university, where he used to teach, the University of the Western Cape. It also gave me a chance to see some of the area outside of the city of Cape Town. The drive made me feel like I was back in the Africa that I knew. Trash blowing across the road, "buses" stopping in the middle of the road to pick people up, dirt roads running through neighborhoods and barely-standing make-shift buildings. It was a reminder of the history of South Africa with apartheid. The racial barriers may be gone, but there is a still a clear 1st world feel to Cape Town contrasted by the 3rd feel of the surrounding areas. We arrived back at the UCT campus in time for tea. I ran into Will and we decided to head up to Table Mountain on our last day in Cape Town. More on that tomorrow.

Trip to Cape Town: Day 4 (Tues, Feb 23)

My post yesterday was a bit long, so I will try to keep it shorter today, so here is a quick video update with words to follow.



Day 4 started with another run, with another amazing view, but no snakes this time. During breakfast (passion fruit was added to the fruit bowl), I did Experiencing God Day 3 from Week 6 and it really helped me to realize that I need to not focus on my discouragement from yesterday, but instead to focus on the situation from God's perspective.

After breakfast, I was able to meet with the Relocation Coordinator and get an idea of moving costs (none since UCT will pay for it), the net salary and possible housing options (UCT have furnished apartments they rent out to new faculty until they find a place to live). I decided that I should head up to the campus much earlier today. On my way up, I was able to replace some of the pictures I tried to take on Sunday. I also took this video of campus and the rugby field in front of campus.



Once I got the Physics building, I was able to talk to Andy Buffler, one of the professors on the selection committee about the job (permanent, equivalent to tenure-track) and what the expectations are (half teaching, half research), which were questions that I have had since the beginning of the process. It was certainly nice to have a chance to have those answers. I also got a chance to visit a couple lectures and see the lecture halls. After tea-time, Will, a candidate from Ohio State University give his talk.

While the selection committee prepping for the interviews (all four 30+ min interviews in a row), we went to the UCT Club for lunch and had the buffet. Not American style, but South African style, which means you only get one trip and the food was kept warm in kettle pots sitting on large hot plates. The food was very good, and I had a chance to try a South African dish, Bobotie, which a mince-meat pie with an eggy, custard topping (picture). I thought that it was very good.

I was the third of four interviews, with the entire selection committee (12 in all) sitting in the room, waiting for me. Something that was interesting was that they all stood up when I entered the room. Very impressive. I felt like the interview went well. A lot of the questions were similar to the phone interview questions. I just tried to give honest answers and be myself. I was also able to stay relative clam and not nervous, which was good. Overall, a good feeling coming out. Ultimately, I think that the Selection Committee will just have to determine they want in a candidate. I feel like all of us did a good job, but we will just have to wait and see. I was told that a decision would be reached in a week or two, so now the waiting begins.

Okay, well, that ended up being kind of long. Oh well, time for bed.

Trip to Cape Town: Day 3 (Mon, Feb 22)

Day 3 started out good. I got up around 7:15 am, but wasn't too happy about it. Still struggling to sleep all the way through the night. The 2:00 to 4:00 am window is very restless. As is my tradition, I went for a run the day of the interview, or talk in this case. I went about 2.7 miles into Rondebosch away from the UCT campus. There is a large "park" called the Rondebosch Commons. It is a essential a large grass field with some trees and trails going through it. I ran along one edge of the park and when I turned the corner, I looked back toward campus and had an amazing view of the UCT campus and Devil's Peak (Need to add a picture). As I ran back across the park, I just about stepped on a 4-ft black snake. Don't see that in Houston.

Had another amazing breakfast with fresh fruit, granola (or mueslix, as Enid calls it) with yogurt, toast and a muffin. But the best part was the inclusion of South African goose berries (picture). As you can see, they look like small yellow tomatoes, but had a sweet, tart taste. Very yummy!

After spending some time at the coffeehouse uploading pictures, I got dressed and drove up to campus for my 1:00 pm talk. After visiting the visitor center and spending nearly 20 minutes finding a parking spot, I got to the Physics building (see picture). As I looked for the room, I was tracked down by the secretary and asked me where I had been (it was 12:30pm). She asked me if I wanted to go in to hear the other talk or go upstairs. The blank look on my face must have shown my lack of understanding. She told me that another candidate was currently giving a talk. As I enter the room, two of the professors got up and said they were worried about me because they weren't sure where I was. Obviously, I was confused because I didn't know that there were any other talks on Monday or that I needed to show up much before 1pm.

After sitting down and listening to the rest of the talk, there was a short lunch break and then it was my turn. The talk went well. All of the prayer and practice certainly made the difference. There was one more talk after mine and then we were able to do a check out on the lab rooms. They pack 170 students into each lab and their lab room is two stories high. Pretty crazy! I headed home about 5:00 pm, giving Andrew a ride home. Andrew is one of the other candidates and is from Canada, but currently works at CERN in Switzerland. He also has a 1-year old, so the new baby thing is still fresh for him.

The plan was for everyone to get together for dinner later, so while I waited I turned on the TV and tuned into one of the 8 sports channels that I get in my room (I know, like a slice of heaven :). I find that the UCT Rugby team was playing on the rugby field in front of campus (see Day 4 video) on national television. Very cool. I guess it is a little like watching college basketball on ESPN. UCT Ikeys beat the TUT Vikings 22-16.

Dinner was at the V & A Waterfront, which is the renovated harbor district, and very nice. Still a fully functional harbor, but many of the docks are filled with shops and restaurants. We ate at a seafood place and I had grilled KingKlip, a South African white fish. It was very good. There were eight of us at dinner, the four candidates and four professors, and the conversation was engaging but I was getting tired towards the end since it was after 11:00 pm when we left. I gave Diana a quick call and was certainly ready for bed by midnight. Another very long day!

Overall, the day was a bit of a rollercoaster, starting with a great run, then some frustration over showing up late and the miscommunication, to delivering a good talk, and then struggling to really connect towards the end of dinner. Going to bed I was certainly discouraged and pretty sure that I was not going to get the job.