Originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo, Marie and her family have been a part of our Jubilee and Salt River community since 2008. They have been much-loved members of our church family through Sunshade, womens’ prayer groups, and Kids Club.
In addition to being a devoted Christian mother, Marie is a talented and qualified seamstress. After studying and teaching sewing in the DRC she has turned her passion into a local business in South Africa. She runs this business from her Salt River home making beautifully crafted clothes. She has designed stunning women’s garments, furniture coverings, and bags. She also offers an alteration and repair service for clothing.
Her goal is to grow her business by increasing her customer base, and gaining sales into established stores. As well as establishing her as a business person, this will enable her to provide a university education for her children.
We are blessed to have her bags as part of our Joybags project. Marie shared that she made these bags with joyful love and can’t wait to see people with them.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Let me start with the big news. An agreement was signed on November 6th and there have been no disruptions for almost three weeks!
Now, on to the details. My last update was over a month ago. Here are my two excuses. First, it has been hard to write these updates. UCT has been a very stressful environment making it difficult to accomplish much of anything. Second, we took a road trip to Johannesburg (more details in next update or check out some of the other blog posts) that delayed this update.
Week of Monday, October 17th
My last update was on Monday, 17 October when the protesters broke into the Physics building.
On Wednesday (19 Oct), they returned to the Physics building (video) and the academics tried to block the doors of our building from protestors in order to avoid a repeat of Monday, but eventually a sympathetic Physics student opened the door for them (video). They banged on doors up and down hallways, removed people from the library (video) and then were eventually peacefully escorted from the building by security (video).
There were a number of incidents across campus during this week. The protesting students were systematically entering building with libraries and computer labs in order to chase any students out of the buildings as they continued to try and shut down the university. There were a number of altercations with security and arrests of protestors during the week with a steady increase in the levels of violence (see links below).
The next week marked a turning point in the protest action at UCT. It started with further escalation of violence when 4 cars were burned on campus (link to article describing event), but two events seem to push events to a climax. First, UCT announced an interim interdict that prohibited the disruption of exams, libraries, research and other laboratories, and the ability of any of the university’s employees to do their work. This was in direct response to the events from the previous week. There had not previously been any explicit statement regarding the legality of disruptions at UCT and the interdict seemed to "disrupt" the disruptions, particularly the statement about needing to be 200 meters from any of the venues listed above, which basically excluded any protest action anywhere on campus.
The second event was the Minister of Finance giving his mid-year budget report to Parliament in downtown Cape Town on Wednesday, 26 October. A number of pickets and marches were planned throughout the day to petition government to do something about higher education in South Africa. The UCT slot was allocated for 9 am in the morning and after an hour of peaceful picketing and delivering our demands (link), we disbanded to make way for the later marches. It was not a good sign that the police trucks with trailers full of rolls of barb wire pulled up as we were leaving. Needless to say, the afternoon protests by the #FeesMustFall students did not end so peacefully. After the speech (in which the Minister promised an increase of R17 billion (~$1 billion) over 3 years to fund higher education), the students got antsy, provoked the police and then for the next two hours, chaos reigned in Cape Town as the police chased protestors around the city with stun grenades. See these two new articles for further description of the events.
UCT Academics handing over list of demands outside South African Parliament
It is hard to know what exactly changed, but the protest disruptions largely subsided after October 26th. As far as I know, there have been no major incidents at UCT since (other campuses are still closed or under protest). Everyone on campus was still very tense, particularly since the level of violence had been slowly escalating, so we waited for the next wave of protests, but it never came. This tension, of course, made it difficult to do any work, particularly trying to prepare the exams for the students. As the time passed, campus started to get back to normal as everyone prepared for the start of exams on Monday, November 7th. Even after the agreement was signed on November 6th, there was a lot of apprehension on Monday morning when the first exams started, but every thing went smoothly and have been for the last 8 days. There are still reminders of what has happened, like the chain-link fences surrounding the exam venues and the ID security points at each exam entrance, but things are feeling a bit more normal.
What comes next?
This is the big question. Two interesting aspects of the agreement between the protesting groups and the UCT executive (link) are: (1) The use of an Institutional Reconciliation and Transformation Commission (IRTC) to address some of the institutional issues that have arisen from the protests as well as address the scope of what is considered acceptable protest action at UCT. (2) The agreement also grants clemency (suspension of charges while no further disruptive activity occurs) for actions taken by protestors during the two months with the possibility of amnesty.
In the short term, the academic program for 2016 has been saved, but there have been serious consequences for 2017. Most of the departments and faculties have abandoned the blended learning idea in favor of a 3-week mini-semester at the start of 2017. The Science Faculty has decided to stick with the blended learning (posting online materials and hosting limited face-to-face interactions [I delivered 2 hours of lecture this week and will give 2 more hours next week]) in order to give the academics time off (aka do some research) at the start of January. The university has given all students the option to write their exams now (7 Nov to 24 Nov) or defer them until 2017 (23 Jan to 10 Feb). In addition to the mini-semester, there will be one additional week of lecturing in the first semester of 2017 in order to "catch-up" any missed material. The result of all this is that we will start the semester more than 3 weeks late, our mid-year break has been shorted by a week and we will once again be running exams to the end of November 2017 and marking until the middle of December (same as we will do this year). It is going to be a long year.
In the long term, it is hard to say where we will go for here, but hopefully UCT will be able to heal from this and will become a better place as a result. We are also hopeful that future protests can be avoided because it has taken a serious toll on the fabric of the university and I am not sure that it can endure another sustained series of protests. There is no doubt that UCT (and South Africa) suffers from severe cultural and racial insensitivity and it will take all of us to work together to make a difference. Please pray for this country and this university as it navigates a delicate future.
First Leg: Cape Town to Karoo National Park (462 km)
We had big plans to start out early (~6 am) on our drive north, but it just didn't work out. Trying to figure out how to organize the three car seats ended up being one of the biggest challenges. Eventually, we got everything and everyone packed up and ready to go by 8:30 am. The drive to Karoo National Park was largely uneventful with a stop for gas, a couple toilet stops and a stop to buy milk and mayonnaise (I know, a bit random).
Playground at gas station
We arrived at the park at 2:30 pm and immediately saw some baboons, kudu and red hartebeest. Very exciting! We checked into our cottage (which was incredibly nice) and did the Fossil Trail (a very nice activity for the boys). It was also incredibly hot (33 degrees Celsius or 91 degrees Fahrenheit), so we decided that we needed to go for a swim. Very refreshing!! And we also saw a tortoise, a huge grasshopper, and a funny mouse-chipmunk animal-thing. The fun of staying in a national park.
View from our cottage
After dinner (we had tuna sandwiches, thus the mayo, although we ended up using cream cheese [long story]), we went for a dinner through the park to look for more animals and saw some zebra (two different types) and lots more kudu, red hartebeest and ostriches. We settled in back at our cottage, all went to bed with the plan for a 6 am drive through the rest of the park. If only it had worked out that way!
This is a series of blog entries detailing our trip to pick up Noma from Johannesburg. For anyone who is not aware, Noma Anele Ruth Peterson is our adopted daughter and we are leaving tomorrow to drive across South Africa (Cape Town to Joburg, 1400 km or 870 miles) to meet her for the first time!!!!!!
Noma @ 10 months
Here are some of the facts that you might like to know.
Our timeline:
We started the adoption process in August 2014. Unfortunately, the process was halted due to the sabbatical from July to Dec 2015. The process was restarted in June 2016. After 3 months of intense paperwork, psych evals, stalking government officials and meetings, we were declared "paper pregnant" on 08 September 2016. And the waiting began ... On 18 October 2016, we received the referral. We poured and prayed over the documents and officially agreed to adopt Noma on 19 October 2016 (our "gotcha" day). Our application for temporary foster care was approved on 25 October 2016 (although we were not informed until 31 October 2016). We are scheduled to meet her on Friday, 4 November 2016 at 3:30 pm and we can't wait!!!!
Noma's Timeline:
Anele (her given name) was born on 26 November 2015 near Johannesburg and was placed in the care of the Wandisa Adoption Agency (the agency that has helped us with our adoption). She was soon transferred into the care of The Love of Christ (TLC) Children's home in Eikenhof, Gauteng where she has been ever since. She has received wonderful care and is a healthy baby girl who we are ready to accept into our family.
It has been exactly two weeks since my last update. I apologize for taking so long to provide further details. I will try to briefly summarize what has occurred in the last two weeks (this is, of course, from my limited perspective of the situation). I also apologize for the length of the update.
Monday, October 3rd to Wednesday, October 5th
UCT was open during these days with lectures stopping and starting due to the disruptions. My last update provided some of the details of events on Monday.
Tuesday was better. Students again blocked the entrance roads, but the private security and police acted more decisively, arresting one student (video) and threatening to arrest the rest of the protesting students if they did not move. The students chose to stand up and move up the road to campus (video). The other entrance to campus was also cleared thus allowing access to campus by car and bus. There were further disruptions on other parts of campus, but the Physics building was spared and all lectures were delivered un-hindered.
Wednesday started out well, entrances to campus were not blocked and the first set of lectures started normally. About 30 minutes into the first lecture, a groups of protesting students tried to enter the Physics building. The doors were locked by security and the students could not get in (video). After a while, they moved on, but a few students stayed outside. When the lectures ended, students started exiting the building and one of the remaining protestors began yelling at the exiting students. I followed her up the stairs to ask her why she was yelling at these students, but got yelled at instead (video) and accused of assault (I had gently touched her shoulder to get her attention). Once the building was empty, she moved back across the street. The group of protesting students returned about 2 hours later and entered the building to disrupt lectures. This time they discharged fire extinguishers in two lecture venues and in the foyer. I had been in my office, prepping for my lecture and couldn't figure out why I was coughing until I opened the door to see the white powder covering everything. The building was cleared and most of the dust was cleaned up in time for me to deliver my first (and only) lecture of third-year Nuclear Physics. The lecture went fine without disruption, but about the time my lecture ended, the university decided to close once again. The protesting students continued to march through campus (video) eventually heading for the administration building.
Thursday, October 6th to Sunday, October 16th
UCT was closed (no academic teaching activities) for this period. Many of the academics continued to come onto campus and the negotiations with the protesting groups continued. There were isolated incidents involving protesting students (burning a truck, storming campus security offices, disrupting meetings on campus). As the time wore on (and the negotiations were not proceeding), there was a decision to try and wrap up the semester and school year. Exams will start on November 7th with campus re-opening on Monday, October 17th and there will be two weeks of "teaching" (without any face-to-face meetings). We have been tasked with providing all content on-line, be in email contact with students, and teach our courses without needing to have students come into lectures (thus avoiding the possible disruptions).
Monday, October 17th
We were not really sure what to expect today. The protesting students started by disrupting the campus bus system in the morning and then slowly meandered up to the main campus. A few of us observed them peacefully walking through campus, occasionally entering buildings, singing and chanting as they went. At mid-morning, they came up to the Physics building (which was again locked) and one student tried to open the door, shaking it quite hard. Our initial thought was that the student would then stop shaking the door, but he got more and more aggressive until he was able to break part of the latch and the glass pane broke. He then reached in to unlatch the door and then opened it for the protestors to enter the building (video). After a few minutes, the police arrived and chased the students out of the building. They were ready to move on until they realized that one of the students has been detained by the police inside the building, which led to a heated exchange (video) and a stun grenade being sent into the crowd. Eventually, the students moved on to another part of campus and the student was taken to the police station. The students continued to move around campus, breaking into at least one other building. It is hard to know what tomorrow will bring, but these students are clearly focussed on trying to keep UCT closed.
Police barricading Physics building - 17 October 2016
Please keep praying for the universities of South Africa (the majority of the 26 public South African universities are closed, all have experienced protest action, some more severe than at UCT). To be honest with you, it is hard to know exactly how to ask you to pray. At UCT, we are at an impasse, the school year needs to be completed. The university has bent over backwards to accommodate the protesting student's requests (link) yet the protest action remains. We seem to have entered a world where we will try to continue "teaching" in the midst of protest. I have included links to a few articles below that try to paint aspects of this very complex picture. Please read if you are interested in knowing more. Thanks for taking the time to read this, Steve
Today was a long day. It started with a 3-hour standoff between students blocking the entrances to campus (for vehicles, not pedestrians). This was followed by roving bands of protestors entering lecture venues to disrupt whatever teaching was going on. The Physics building seemed to be a popular target with a total of five disruptions throughout the day. We got quite good at leaving the building when the fire alarm was pulled, waiting for the protestors to clear the building and move on to the next building before having the students return to the venue and restart the lecture. I was not teaching today, but was supporting many of the other lecturers. I have uploaded some short cell phone videos to YouTube (links below) if you would like to get a glimpse of what is going on. You will see that singing and dancing is a big part of the protest.
Thankfully, there does not appear to have been any instances of violence, just a lot of disruptions, although six students were arrested for disrupting one particular lecture. Unfortunately, the protests will continue tomorrow and the university has decided to increase the level of security on campus. This means that there will be more confrontations between protestors and police, and also likely more arrests. Again, it is hard to predict exactly what tomorrow will bring, but it will probably get ugly. Please keep praying, Steve
The University of Cape Town has been closed for the past week to give time for negotiations between the university management and the protesting students. The hope is to re-start lectures tomorrow (Monday, 3 October). It sounds like the final set of talks did not go well and we are currently waiting on a decision about tomorrow.
This has been a stressful week on campus with many meetings between staff and students. I attended five meetings this last week with various different groupings of students and staff. The students (non-protesting) and staff held a silent protest on Friday (see link below) to re-open the campus, which was then counter-protested.
It is hard to gauge what will happen tomorrow, possibilities range from further closures to violence between protesters and private security or police. The academics in the Physics department (including me) are preparing to step between security and students if violence becomes a possibility. Please pray for the UCT campus tomorrow (actually tonight, classes will start at 8 am here, or 1 am CST), that peace will reign. I will keep you posted, Steve
UPDATE: The Vice Chancellor has just announced that lectures will resume Monday with security present to deal with any disruptions. Please pray.
More Information
UCT Silent Protest (look for me in the first picture next to the yellow sign)
Here is a quick note to tell you what has been going on recently at the University of Cape Town (UCT) and in South Africa. All academic activities have been suspended at UCT for the last week as a result of student protests on campus. There have also been similar protests at several other universities in South Africa. Unfortunately, there have been cases of intimidation and violence associated with protests which prompted suspension of university activities.
The primary issue leading to the protests is the call for free university education. There was a similar set of nation-wide protests last year (#FeesMustFall) that was prompted by unusually high increases (10-12%) in the university tuition for the 2016 academic year. As a result, the South African president (Jacob Zuma) announced a nation-wide 0% tuition increase for 2016. So, this year, students have mobilized again (after the Education Minister announced an 8% increase in 2017 tuition) pushing again for free university education (#Fees2017).
The next 7-10 days at UCT will be an important time for the university and the nation. The university is planning to engage with students and staff this next week to try to reach a resolution and resume lectures as soon as possible. Further delays will put the completion of the academic calendar in jeopardy.
Steve was not teaching when protests disrupted lectures last week, but did have an uncomfortable exchange with protesting students. The main portion of campus has been largely quiet since Tuesday with protests occurring in other areas of campus. Steve is scheduled to lecture next week (when and if they resume) and disruptions are a real possibility.
It has been a stressful time for everyone and evokes deep-seated emotions on both sides. The vast inequalities in South Africa have contributed to these emotions and make negotiations complicated. The universities will have to make some tough decisions. Please join us in praying for peaceful engagements and a mutually-agreed resolution to these protests. Please also pray for Steve as he engages with students and deals with any possible disruptions. We will keep you updated over the next few weeks. Thank you for your prayers, Steve, Diana, Aaron and Seth
Here are few links if you are interested in more information
a friend asked me recently about my thoughts on living in a foreign country...i just thought i'd paste what i wrote into a note and share it with all of you...
i guess everyone knows that feeling of doing something for the first time with people you don't know. when you live in another country it's like that but on crack!
we moved 3 times in our first 4 years of marriage. i felt i had it down to a science...it takes about 2 years to feel settled with friends that you know fairly well, doctors you're happy with, regular places you go and restaurants you can't live without! but in a city of 4 million plus, in a country where there are 11 national languages and where people know you're foreign every time you open your mouth it takes even longer.
i think the things that help are:
1 - we know God planned for us to be here. we see the way he worked out so many details and called us in our hearts to africa before we even knew what that looked liked.
2 - it also helps that it's so easy to contact friends and family in the states these days. i remember when i went to cameroon in 1998...to some that may seem like a long time ago but to a lot of us it seems like yesterday...and i only called my mom on the phone 1 time because it was expensive but also inconvenient...where i lived for a year we couldn't even place overseas calls.
3 - God's family helps you feel connected even if you're struggling with the culture. it's lovely that thru jesus christ i can have a foundation of similarity with people all over the world!
[reposted from Diana's facebook page - original date: 20 February, 2014]
so some of you may know my husband took off for a far-away conference, only yesterday. i'm holding down the fort...with 2 boys! let me say, it has not been hard so far. i didn't get much sleep last night but it was a saturday morning which means a slow start, then my sweet friend picked up aaron for a day at her house. with one boy taken care of i thought i'd attempt a little grocery shopping...yikes!!
seth fed, nappy changed, grocery list made, seth buckled into his car seat, nappy bag fully loaded...left the house.
phew!! we made it to the grocery store. parked too close to car next to us so couldn't get the car seat out of the back door...improvise...pulled it out of the driver's door. still on track, we can do this!
found a trolly right away so i wasn't lugging that GIANT car seat through the garage into the store. seth starts crying half way through the shop, pulled him out of the seat, carried him through the shop while pushing the trolly. not a prob.
finally he's back asleep...checked out, got groceries to the car. the car that was parked too close is gone, hooray! groceries and everything else packed into the car...uh oh! i realize i did not lock the gear shift! uh oh! i also left the back window cracked open and worse of all, i left the front door unlocked!! i do a quick check, PRAISE THE LORD, nothing seems missing and best of all no one stole the car. ;)
pulling out of garage, passing the boom, oh no!! i didn't buckle seth into his seat! pull over, get out, buckle seth.
i did make it home but i tell this story in great detail to help paint a picture. being a mom is a physical challenge. its a mental challenge. i have so much respect for all the mom's out there doing this every day! maybe you don't remember but when we first moved to sa i did a note on the 15 steps it takes to get out of our car. i feel like i'm back in that place! my first time to the shop on my own with seth and i nearly get our car stolen and unsafely drive with an unbuckled infant! (as a side: i did get all the things on my list. so not all bad! :))
all that being said though, i can praise the Lord for so many things...i'm not doing this on my own. not only do i have a wonderful husband (props to single moms!) i also have the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the ultimate Friend and Father helping me. not only am i sure that He kept my car and child safe, i know that His ways are better than my ways...no matter what happens. i'm so glad i can rest in that. i can rest in the fact that He is strength in my weakness. i can rest in the fact that He makes me a better mom. praise the Lord!
[reposted from Diana's facebook page - original date: 03 August, 2013]
Date: Saturday, 06 July, 2013
Time: 7:26 pm
Weight: 3.66 kg (8 lbs, 1 oz)
Length: 55 cm (21.6 inches)
Delivery Details
Seth came into the world quite suddenly with the whole event taking less than 5 hours. Diana and I were preparing to go out for our anniversary when at about 2:30 pm (in the midst of her preparation), Diana started experiencing some discomfort and decided to lay down on the couch. About 30 minutes later, she noticed they were coming at regular intervals (about 4 min apart).
Getting ready to head to the hospital
We were both really hoping to avoid having a baby on our anniversary, but after about a hour of hoping that the discomfort would go away, we realized that this was going to be the day, and got everyone moving towards the door.
We dropped Aaron off at a nearby friend's house for the night and headed to the hospital. We arrived about 5:30 pm and after 20 minutes of monitoring, were told that it would be another 5-6 hours. So, we went for a walk, did the check-in paperwork, discussed our dinner plans and headed back up to the labour ward.
Happy Mom, Dad and Baby!
At about 6:45 pm, Diana went to the bathroom and heard a pop, which in retrospect was her water breaking because the contractions got significantly more intense. The doctor arrived about 10 minutes after that and told us that the baby would be coming soon (45 to 60 minutes). The nurse got Diana prepped and then after one look realized that the baby was less than 45 minutes away, so sent word to get the doctor back in the room. He came running in and they rapidly put everything in place. No more than 5 minutes later, the head started to appear and Seth was born a few minutes after that. In the span of 5 hours, we went from denial (hoping that we wouldn't have to share our anniversary with Seth's birthday) to elation (baby Seth had arrived, the miracle of life!). I will provide more details regarding the choosing of Seth's name in a future post. Cheers, Steve
It is not often that my two-year old son teaches me something. Outside of the names of dinosaurs, I can safely say that at this point he does not know more than I do. But one area that he far exceeds me in is emotional expressivity (I think I just made that word up). The emotions of a two-year old are pure and innocent. Now that Aaron is approaching 3 (just over two months away), he has developed more complex emotions, like getting upset, or refusing to cooperate, and reacting to how Diana and I are feeling. I read somewhere that the hormonal changes of a two-year old rival that of a teenager and I can believe it.
Well, this morning, they taught me a lesson. We have had a productive weekend, getting a chance to do some things around the house, have a walk along the ocean, and spend some time together as a family. In my usual fashion, I left a few things from the weekend tasks cluttering the house, which bothers Diana. So, this morning she asked me to clean up some the stuff laying around. And, unfortunately, it rubbed me the wrong way, so I did the assigned task and then decided a little silent treatment was needed (no, that is not the lesson I learned from my two-year old, childish as it seems). So, over the following 10-15 minutes, I continued to get ready for work, brushing my teeth, taking out the trash, all while ignoring Diana, creating a tension between us. During this time, I wondered if Aaron would pick up on this. I was trying to interact with him as I always would, but not sure how successful I was being.
As I headed out the door, I had a chat with Diana and she apologized for the comment, which I accepted, recognizing how childish I was actually being. I asked Aaron for a cuddle and he ran away. I didn't really have time to chase him, so I asked again and he refused. For the next few minutes, as I am getting my jacket and helmet on and pushing the bike out, I continually asked for a cuddle or kiss, but he refused every time. Even as I started to drive off, he refused to wave, blow a kiss or even say good bye, which on a ordinary day, can take a few minutes to accomplish.
Now, I am not sure that my refusal to talk to Diana led to this reaction from Aaron. Mondays are often hard days to say goodbye because after a whole weekend together, I don't think he appreciates me leaving, but the tension between Diana and I probably didn't help. The one thing that I am sure about is the pain that I felt as I drove away. His rejection, although most likely hormonal and not intended to inflict emotional pain, delivered a sharp prick of guilt and remorse. It is not often that we get immediate feedback on the ugliness of our actions. My reaction to Diana and my subsequent treatment of her was petty, childish and mean, designed to return some of the selfish pain from my bruised ego. Aaron's unwillingness to say goodbye was merely a two-year old reacting to a situation, but delivering a powerful lesson about the the pain we can inflict on those we love. This stark reminder will linger for a while longer, but will eventually be soaked up by the business of life, and that is why I am writing it down, so that these words will remind me that nothing is as important as caring, loving and never mistreating the ones that we love.
Diana, I am sorry. Aaron, I love you (and I will get a cuddle when I get home, no matter how long I have to chase you :)
On June 2, 2012, Cody Zaeske, a junior at East Troy High School broke the WI Division 2 State Meet Long Jump record held by my dad, Ken Peterson, set in 1966. Here is an excerpt from Madison.com.
East Troy’s Zaeske fells a golden oldie: Of the 25 meet records that fell this weekend, none was as old as the one East Troy junior Cody Zaeske dusted Saturday afternoon.
Zaeske went 23 feet, 8 ¾ inches to win the Division 2 long jump and break the 1966 divisional record (23-1 ¾) set by Grafton’s Ken Peterson. It came on Zaeske’s final try of finals.
“I jumped 23 at regionals, but breaking the state record is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life,” “It felt like someone was pushing me in the back. I couldn’t believe (how long) I was in the air. I saw I was past the state record mark and I went crazy.”
Afterward, Zaeske revealed one motivation for having a big meet -- brother Cory, a sophomore at UW-Whitewater who placed fourth at last month’s NCAA Division III meet (24-7 ¼).
This week, my step-father forwarded an email from Bob Wundrock, a high-school teammate of my dad's, to Cody to give him a glimpse at who Ken Peterson was. The two images alongside are scanned copies of an article from the Ozakee County newspaper written on June 4, 1986, 22 days after he died.
Lastly, Bob also forwarded a video of my dad doing the long jump in 1965.
Ever since I was in high school (secretly hoping to break his record myself), I have been aware of the record and every year around this time, I check the results of the state meet, to see if it survived another year. This year, it was only because of this email that I was aware that his record had been broken, mainly because it is a little harder to follow US sports here in South Africa and the seasons are backwards, meaning it feels much more like late football season then track season here.
Anyway, this day had to come and now that it has, and it is a little bittersweet. The record was a part of my dad's legacy, a piece of him that I could hold on to, and now that it is gone, it feels like I have lost a little bit of him. I was 11 years old when he died, 26 years ago, and the impact of his death still hits me like a brick sometimes. His record being broken, coupled with the article from 1986, and the video has just stirred the emotions all up again. I can't help but think, what could have been?
Now, it is pointless to walk down this road, there is nothing that can be done to change what happened, but it is inevitable from time to time to wonder. Questions will just pop into my head, like with his help, could I have been a better jumper, instead of the distance runner that I became? Or at those times of crisis, what pearls of wisdom would he have shared? The questions go on and on.
The road eventually leads to the big question of: Why? Why did this have to happen? When any tragedy occurs, it is our natural human reaction to ask why. I would love to say that over time it all makes sense, but that would be a lie. Time does heal some of the pain and life eventually moves on, but the wound left behind by the tragedy never fully heals, periodically getting reopened.
Today is Fathers Day and this tends to be a day when the pain resurfaces, particularly the question of what could have been? This morning at church, as they were celebrating fathers and had kids hug their dad and Aaron gave one of his precious hugs, I was overwhelmed with the whole thing. Last night, I realized that on May 13 (anniversary of dad's death) this year, I was 37 years old the same age as he was when he died. The question that I could not shake this morning was what if I am not around for Aaron?
Again, another question with no conclusive answer. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee for tomorrow. As is evidence by what happened to our friends in Madison, Jon & Amy, tragedy can strike at any time. Their 7 year old son died last week when a car jumped a curb, bounced off a tree and landed on the picnic table where they were eating. Absolutely tragic.
Okay, before this spirals too far downhill, tragedy is unfortunately a part of life, but we can not let it control who we are. There are ways to survive tragedy, first holding on to the love that we have for those around us, second treasuring the memories that we still have and for me personally, I have relied heavily on the hope that I have in Christ Jesus. I love my dad and look forward to seeing him again, but until that day, I miss him and wish that he were still here.
proverbs 6:6 - go watch the ants, you lazy person. watch what they do and be wise.
so i'm reading thru proverbs these days and was reminded of this verse this morning while i was watching the ants...the ants...
man,
we have a lot of ants!! for awhile we tried to fight it: ant traps,
ant spray, squashing ants, wiping ants, sweeping ants, etc, etc. but
now i think we're more at a place of acceptance and for the most part
they go about their work and leave us to ours. usually our paths cross
when they seem to fall from the sky and land on your arm or something.
and the last week, or two weeks ago, we had big trouble with flies! so i
would kill the fly and the ants would come running! they seem to be so
attracted to raw meat...yum! :P
its amazing tho, to sit
and watch them for a bit. they work together as a team sometimes to
carry really big things (like 1/2 a fly) or on their own they will carry
some chunk of something across a huge expanse! where are they going,
how long will it take them to get there, isn't that heavy, why don't
they get discouraged and give up?? these questions go thru my mind...
just one of our many ants :)
this
is where the perspective comes in... am i like that ant? no, i don't
think so. i feel like i give up so easily. i feel as tho i only pray
for blessings and comfort in life. i feel as tho when life throws me a
long journey or a heavy burden that i give up, that i only see myself,
that i don't consider the whole "ant colony." and the thing is i don't
even have to go that journey alone or carry that burden by myself...God
is always there! i don't give him the opportunity to even show me that
thru my weakness i am strong, that by putting him and others first i
actually reap the most.
God is so good tho! he gives us
so many opportunities to come to him. he doesn't give up on us. he
wants the best for us, and here's the thing that bothers our human
perspective, sometimes that means it won't be easy. that doesn't mean
its bad, that doesn't mean that God is bad, it just means that we don't
see the whole picture. it means that we have to TRUST that God knows
what he's doing. it means we have to release control (another society
fighting inclination). it means we have to let God take the reins...in
EVERYTHING! i think i struggle with the everything bit the most. i can
give certain things to God, the big things really, that's good right?
but what about the little things? what about conversations with
people? what about my actions towards my family? what about daily
living in a way that brings glory to God and not in a way that i'm
"comfortable" with?
wow, guys this is long! one final
thought, i'm praying now for more opportunities to trust God. (that
makes me so scared!) but i desperately want to be drawn closer to God,
to know him so intimately that i couldn't imagine a moment without him.
will you pray it too? do you want to hunger and thirst for a God that
hungers and thirsts for you?
[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / March 24, 2012]
so one of my friends cleverly does her status as, "here's what i love
and here's what i hate" all the time. it's such a fun way of summing
up a day or a situation. often she would do "roses and thorns" with her
kids over dinner before she started doing her facebook status updates
that way (and maybe they still do...just haven't done dinner with them
in a while, sad.). which if you are unfamiliar with roses and thorns
it's the same sort of thing, rose: what did you like about the day,
thorns: what didn't you like about the day. all that to say i often
find myself thinking in those terms about something. so the title of my
note comes out of that...
so, i hate gardening. not sure
how many other supporters of that statement are out there but it's
never been my favorite. but let me tell you how much i love plants,
flowers, bushes, trees, grass...other green or growing things...love,
love, love! so my cure to this obvious dilemma is to by cut flowers and
live in houses where other people are in charge of the gardening. ;)
and yet somehow i find myself living in a rented house and still doing
the gardening (our landlady is sneaky! not sure how she talked us into
that!). for the most part that means we have to "mow" the grass. i put
mow in quotation marks because we don't really mow it. it is such a
small patch of grass that a law mower is not necessary. steve uses a
weed-eater on the whole thing! and it only takes 15 minutes, maybe.
yes folks this is our "garden". here in sa, garden is used in the same way we americans would say "yard". :)
but
the rest of the "garden" (that's what the south africans call a yard)
is flower beds with no flowers...sad. i've just been living with it
because why sink a bunch of money into flower beds that you're
renting?? and also, did i mention, i hate gardening?? so recently my
solution to this problem is 2 fold. part 1 of the plan is to "steal"
plants. i don't think it's bad, i haven't really decided. but i walk
thru the neighborhood and when there's a plant that seems to be
under-appreciated, growing outside the fence, extra-large or something i
just grab it. (is that wrong? i'm sorry if it is. i'm still under
the impression that's it not. let me know tho. i can stop.) and part 2
of the plan was to entertain aaron. he seems to really like watering
things. i think my mom got him hooked when we were in the states in
june and july. so i thought, well, i'd be entertaining him anyway might
as well be productive at the same time. so we drag out the hose and
the watering-can and we water all our plants.
so far i
feel our results are slow coming. so i rather hate "growing things." i
seem to get little or no development. i think i've killed a few
things, and other things don't seem to be multiplying like i thought
they might. at the same time weeds seem to crop up everywhere! why is
it weeds are the only things that seem to be able to grow without any
effort. so i hate those "growing things" too. because instead of
revealing in the fact that i have lovely things that have just popped up
into my garden all on their own and they need no help from me to
survive; i have to use extra effort and try to get rid of them! what
kind of cruel twisted fate is this?
duhn da da duhn...super lawn mower man!!
so all those gardeners
out there...i'm sorry. this is not the note for you. but for everyone
else that has ever struggled to accomplish a "garden" and failed or got
frustrated in the process, fist-bumps for you! we're bros for life. ;)
[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / Oct 11, 2011]
it's funny all the differences just living in the southern
hemisphere. people always talk about the toilets flushing
backwards...why don't they talk about spring in september? i mean
really who cares which direction the toilet flushes? how does that
affect my life?? i'm waking up these morning feeling the cool air,
seeing the beautiful sunshine some days and rain others and thinking in
my brain it's fall! but guess what it's not! the weather is on it's
way to 90 degree (that's 30 celsius for all my south africa readers :))
days!! flowers are blooming, there's no sight of leaves changing color
and yet people are playing football games (in the u.s.) and i have the
sudden urge to make chilli.
it's great this being the
start of our second year here because there are some things that i know
from last year. not everything will be new this year. last year at
this time we lived in a different house so i find myself reminiscing
about some of the things we did/learned when we lived there. we moved
into our house in harfield village last year on december 15. it was
hot! steve's family was going to arrive soon and be here for christmas
then after that it only got hotter. i have to say it was a difficult
time for me. all my normal scheduled activities were off for
christmas/summer break and i was in a new house in a new neighborhood
with a 7 month old. no air conditioning, not even a ceiling fan, our
pool was green and it was HOT! did i mention that it was hot? so in
someways i'm looking forward to a retake on that...finding a new way to
survive the summer and hopefully enjoy it more.
but for
now, i'm enjoying spring. i love that the days are lengthening and that
we are getting more and more sunny days. spring and fall (here they
only say autumn, they kind of laugh when i say fall :)) are definitely
my 2 favorite seasons. it's funny that i find that they are the hardest
to adjust to being during different months. but they are beautiful!
and so many amazing flowers in the spring!
[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / Sept 23, 2011]
so i'm sitting here looking out my back door, watching the clean
laundry swing in the breeze and dry in the sunny rays. table mountain
is in the background, our grass is too long, and our pool is too dirty
but none the less a gorgeous day for clean laundry. here's the thing,
as a mom, maybe it's more oppressive than it would be without kids, but
laundry happens everyday...come on guys! everyday!! steve gets up and
goes to work and does little of this, a little of that, with the
intention of completing something each day but a least moving on to a
new part of the task. i get up and stay at "work" and do the same thing
every day...laundry! and dishes, and watch our kid, but mostly
laundry. :)
you know i didn't really start this note to
complain about laundry because most days i don't even really mind doing
it. it did take me a long time to get into the swing of things washing
the dishes everyday, especially after being used to having a dishwasher
but now even that is fine. i think i started this post tho b/c outside
looked so beautiful and sometimes my accomplishments each day aren't
that grand. the other thing is it seems so weird that i sit at my
computer typing away emails to people that are so far from that line of
clothes, even that mountain in the distance. how can i communicate to
all of you what's going on in our life effectively and personally and
constantly without getting bogged down, losing touch with our life here,
or spending too much time at it?
communication is like
laundry it can become overwhelming or if dealt with in a manageable way
it can actually be enjoyable. i actually love emailing friends and
family. it's hard to do tho because i'm not much of a writer or a
sharer or even a very good communicator. it takes a lot of hard work to
come up with great, witty things that i think people might care about.
not all of you are like that...i know! such clever friends i have.
xoxo
anyway, i'm not sure i started this post to end this
way either but it did so this is what i'm going to do...if you have any
questions or things your interested in about cape town, post them here.
i'll try to answer them and hopefully it will paint a better picture of
our life and the place where we live.
cheers! diana
[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / August 10, 2011]
Every year, like a large portion of the World's population, I resolve to change something about my life each January 1st. These resolutions meet with varying degrees of success, the majority of which never make to the end of the year. This year, like previous years I have set out three resolutions (see below), but hopefully these are a bit more realistic (fingers crossed :). I will try to keep you updated on my progress! Cheers, Steve
1. Pray weekly with Diana. We have chosen Wednesday mornings. So far in Jan, we have been successful 2 out of 4 Wednesdays, not great, but a start.
2. Keep a record of our spending, by tracking our receipts and bills. In the US, I was good about entering everything into an Excel spreadsheet, but the system did not make it across the ocean, mainly because we have been living paycheck-to-paycheck, but when I was getting our taxes together, I realized that it is virtually impossible to find the information that I needed without it, so it needs to make a comeback. So far, nothing has happened, but the receipts are all piled up waiting to be entered.
3. This idea was stolen from Elisabeth Cutrer. We were sharing our resolutions on New Years Eve on Skype and she is resolving to read more books this year, lamenting the amount of time spent with electronic devices and Facebook. I realized that my own reading had dropped significantly, of course having a kid and a full-time plus job doesn't help, but still, I should read more. So, I am resolving to read more books, the question is: what is realistic? After some thought, one book a month seems doable, so the resolution is to read 12 books in 2012. My not-quite-complete list is below. Three of the books are carry-overs from 2011, so I thought that I would start with those. Since we recently unpacked the books from our move, I decided that a picture would be nice, so see that below as well.
Book List
1. Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton (from 2011) / finished (great book)
2. Joy Unspeakable by Lloyd-Jones Shaw (from 2011) / in-progress
3. Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson (from 2011) / in-progress
4. The Teeth of the Tiger by Tom Clancey (been sitting on my shelf for 5 years)
5. The Convenant by James Michener (massive 1000+ page book on South Africa, Diana has finished it)
6. Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall & John Denver (highly recommended by Diana)
7. The Associate by John Grisham (just love his books)
8. The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg (gift from Joy and highly recommended)
9. No Well Worn Paths by Terry Virgo (biography of New Frontiers founder)
10. Treasure of Khan by Clive Cussler (Dirk Pitt has the best adventures)
11 & 12. Undecided, waiting to see what peaks my interest in 2012.
Now that Aaron has turned 20 months old (a milestone, I know), he has picked up a lot of words, like truck, horse and choo-choo (see list below, over 60 words!) But his favorite word is "dis" accompanied by empathic pointing towards something (see video). This action is followed by a look of expectation as he waits for ma-ma or da-da to go retrieve this item. As we try to decipher which of the myriad of objects in that direction he is referring to, the look quickly turns to impatience and then insistence, and typically ends with severe whining or possibly crying if he is pointing to something that he cannot have, like the iPad.
It has been fun to see him pick up words, but I am amazed at his grasp of "this". Somewhere along the way, he picked up that "this" refers to anything, that it is a non-specific descriptor (which he uses to his full advantage). There is probably some child development psychology reasoning behind this, but for me, it reveals the amazing capacity our brains have to learn and develop. Cheers, Steve
Some of the words Aaron knows: truck, horse, choo-choo, one - ten, drink, dog, door, gate, car, bird (his first word), hi, bye, please, ma-ma, da-da, Jo-Jo, Louise, Joshie, pool, ta, rice, meat, milk, nose, eyes, mouth, ears, hair, head, bull, spanspek, flea, hat, boot, peas, fish, blocks, pawpaw, dip, poo, wee, dance, books, stairs, toes, feet, bite, big, tall, small, spot, dash, this, what, bowl, plate, fork, spoon, knife, teeth, yes, no and more everyday.
btw, this is my first blog post from my iPad, using the Blogsy app
living in a culture not your own exposes all kinds of misconceptions. things that you tend to take for granted like "coffee cake" means cake that goes with coffee not cake that tastes like coffee. :) i made said coffee cake today for our mom's group. this came up a couple of times.
but it also happens in all sorts of situations all the time. words that i don't know, words that i thought i knew, words i'm using that nobody knows...and other stuff. for example what does pavement mean to you or robot or costume? let me tell you what it means to a south african: pavement = sidewalk, robot = traffic light, costume = swimming suit. there have been moments in my life here when talking to someone i have a completely different idea of what they are saying then what they are actually saying! it's awesome!!
i do love learning all the language stuff. we're lucky in some ways because to communicate, for the most part, we don't have to learn another language. but language is such a part of the place and the people where you live. and here, it seems, language is huge! there are 11 national languages. many are african languages but in this area the most common african language spoken is xhosa. other than the 9 african languages there's also english and afrikaans. steve and i have a deal that i'll learn afrikaans and he'll learn xhosa. (i certainly got the better end of the deal...don't tell steve) the xhosa alphabet includes many letters that make clicking sounds. now i can click or i can talk but i've found that i can't actually do both at the same time. :) as far as afrikaans there are actually quite a lot street signs, names, words just assimilated into everyone's vocab english-speaking or otherwise. it seems like afrikaans could be quite helpful.
we'll see if we actually learn another language but aaron will be. the thought is to put him into the schools here and everyone learns english and afrikaans no matter what language they speak at home. it will be exciting for him to have that background and that edge on the culture that we don't have. i'm sure he'll be our translator in some situations.
i guess this is actually not that unfamiliar to most people just on a much smaller scale. i mean anytime you walk into someone's home they have their own family culture where they just do and say things in a way that has a certain meaning to them. for instances when you get married, you merge those 2 families and you find out in that first year a whole lot of that cultural stuff. then over the years the 2 cultures become one and when you visit your parents you find that that is not your culture anymore.
anyway, this is getting long. i'm sure you get the idea. so embrace the differences and enjoy the experience because it will only be new for a while and then it will be so a part of your culture that you won't remember that it wasn't. ;)
