being a mom. praise the Lord!

so some of you may know my husband took off for a far-away conference, only yesterday.  i'm holding down the fort...with 2 boys!  let me say, it has not been hard so far.  i didn't get much sleep last night but it was a saturday morning which means a slow start, then my sweet friend picked up aaron for a day at her house.  with one boy taken care of i thought i'd attempt a little grocery shopping...yikes!!

seth fed, nappy changed, grocery list made, seth buckled into his car seat, nappy bag fully loaded...left the house.  

phew!!  we made it to the grocery store.  parked too close to car next to us so couldn't get the car seat out of the back door...improvise...pulled it out of the driver's door.  still on track, we can do this!  

found a trolly right away so i wasn't lugging that GIANT car seat through the garage into the store.  seth starts crying half way through the shop, pulled him out of the seat, carried him through the shop while pushing the trolly.  not a prob.  

finally he's back asleep...checked out, got groceries to the car.  the car that was parked too close is gone, hooray!  groceries and everything else packed into the car...uh oh!  i realize i did not lock the gear shift!  uh oh!  i also left the back window cracked open and worse of all, i left the front door unlocked!!  i do a quick check, PRAISE THE LORD, nothing seems missing and best of all no one stole the car. ;)  

pulling out of garage, passing the boom, oh no!!  i didn't buckle seth into his seat!  pull over, get out, buckle seth.

i did make it home but i tell this story in great detail to help paint a picture.  being a mom is a physical challenge.  its a mental challenge.  i have so much respect for all the mom's out there doing this every day!  maybe you don't remember but when we first moved to sa i did a note on the 15 steps it takes to get out of our car.  i feel like i'm back in that place!  my first time to the shop on my own with seth and i nearly get our car stolen and unsafely drive with an unbuckled infant!  (as a side: i did get all the things on my list.  so not all bad! :))

all that being said though, i can praise the Lord for so many things...i'm not doing this on my own.  not only do i have a wonderful husband (props to single moms!) i also have the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the ultimate Friend and Father helping me.  not only am i sure that He kept my car and child safe, i know that His ways are better than my ways...no matter what happens.  i'm so glad i can rest in that.  i can rest in the fact that He is strength in my weakness.  i can rest in the fact that He makes me a better mom.  praise the Lord!

[reposted from Diana's facebook page - original date: 03 August, 2013]

Baby Seth has arrived!

Vital Statistics

Seth two minutes after birth

Date: Saturday, 06 July, 2013
Time: 7:26 pm
Weight: 3.66 kg (8 lbs, 1 oz)
Length: 55 cm (21.6 inches)

Delivery Details
Seth came into the world quite suddenly with the whole event taking less than 5 hours.  Diana and I were preparing to go out for our anniversary when at about 2:30 pm (in the midst of her preparation), Diana started experiencing some discomfort and decided to lay down on the couch.  About 30 minutes later, she noticed they were coming at regular intervals (about 4 min apart).

Getting ready to head to the hospital

We were both really hoping to avoid having a baby on our anniversary, but after about a hour of hoping that the discomfort would go away, we realized that this was going to be the day, and got everyone moving towards the door.
  We dropped Aaron off at a nearby friend's house for the night and headed to the hospital.  We arrived about 5:30 pm and after 20 minutes of monitoring, were told that it would be another 5-6 hours.  So, we went for a walk, did the check-in paperwork, discussed our dinner plans and headed back up to the labour ward.

Happy Mom, Dad and Baby!

At about 6:45 pm, Diana went to the bathroom and heard a pop, which in retrospect was her water breaking because the contractions got significantly more intense.  The doctor arrived about 10 minutes after that and told us that the baby would be coming soon (45 to 60 minutes).  The nurse got Diana prepped and then after one look realized that the baby was less than 45 minutes away, so sent word to get the doctor back in the room.  He came running in and they rapidly put everything in place. 
No more than 5 minutes later, the head started to appear and Seth was born a few minutes after that.  In the span of 5 hours, we went from denial (hoping that we wouldn't have to share our anniversary with Seth's birthday) to elation (baby Seth had arrived, the miracle of life!).  I will provide more details regarding the choosing of Seth's name in a future post.  Cheers, Steve

First family picture

Sleeping 4-day old Seth

Lesson from a two-year old

It is not often that my two-year old son teaches me something.  Outside of the names of dinosaurs, I can safely say that at this point he does not know more than I do.  But one area that he far exceeds me in is emotional expressivity (I think I just made that word up).  The emotions of a two-year old are pure and innocent.  Now that Aaron is approaching 3 (just over two months away), he has developed more complex emotions, like getting upset, or refusing to cooperate, and reacting to how Diana and I are feeling.  I read somewhere that the hormonal changes of a two-year old rival that of a teenager and I can believe it.

Well, this morning, they taught me a lesson.  We have had a productive weekend, getting a chance to do some things around the house, have a walk along the ocean, and spend some time together as a family.  In my usual fashion, I left a few things from the weekend tasks cluttering the house, which bothers Diana.  So, this morning she asked me to clean up some the stuff laying around.  And, unfortunately, it rubbed me the wrong way, so I did the assigned task and then decided a little silent treatment was needed (no, that is not the lesson I learned from my two-year old, childish as it seems).  So, over the following 10-15 minutes, I continued to get ready for work, brushing my teeth, taking out the trash, all while ignoring Diana, creating a tension between us.  During this time, I wondered if Aaron would pick up on this.  I was trying to interact with him as I always would, but not sure how successful I was being.

As I headed out the door, I had a chat with Diana and she apologized for the comment, which I accepted, recognizing how childish I was actually being.  I asked Aaron for a cuddle and he ran away.  I didn't really have time to chase him, so I asked again and he refused.  For the next few minutes, as I am getting my jacket and helmet on and pushing the bike out, I continually asked for a cuddle or kiss, but he refused every time.  Even as I started to drive off, he refused to wave, blow a kiss or even say good bye, which on a ordinary day, can take a few minutes to accomplish.

Now, I am not sure that my refusal to talk to Diana led to this reaction from Aaron.  Mondays are often hard days to say goodbye because after a whole weekend together, I don't think he appreciates me leaving, but the tension between Diana and I probably didn't help.  The one thing that I am sure about is the pain that I felt as I drove away.  His rejection, although most likely hormonal and not intended to inflict emotional pain, delivered a sharp prick of guilt and remorse.  It is not often that we get immediate feedback on the ugliness of our actions.  My reaction to Diana and my subsequent treatment of her was petty, childish and mean, designed to return some of the selfish pain from my bruised ego.  Aaron's unwillingness to say goodbye was merely a two-year old reacting to a situation, but delivering a powerful lesson about the the pain we can inflict on those we love.  This stark reminder will linger for a while longer, but will eventually be soaked up by the business of life, and that is why I am writing it down, so that these words will remind me that nothing is as important as caring, loving and never mistreating the ones that we love.

Diana, I am sorry.  Aaron, I love you (and I will get a cuddle when I get home, no matter how long I have to chase you :)

A 46-year old record broken / Father's Day

On June 2, 2012, Cody Zaeske, a junior at East Troy High School broke the WI Division 2 State Meet Long Jump record held by my dad, Ken Peterson, set in 1966.  Here is an excerpt from Madison.com.

East Troy’s Zaeske fells a golden oldie: Of the 25 meet records that fell this weekend, none was as old as the one East Troy junior Cody Zaeske dusted Saturday afternoon.

Zaeske went 23 feet, 8 ¾ inches to win the Division 2 long jump and break the 1966 divisional record (23-1 ¾) set by Grafton’s Ken Peterson. It came on Zaeske’s final try of finals.

“I jumped 23 at regionals, but breaking the state record is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life,” “It felt like someone was pushing me in the back. I couldn’t believe (how long) I was in the air. I saw I was past the state record mark and I went crazy.”

Afterward, Zaeske revealed one motivation for having a big meet -- brother Cory, a sophomore at UW-Whitewater who placed fourth at last month’s NCAA Division III meet (24-7 ¼).

“Jumping’s in the family,” Zaeske said.

Read more: http://host.madison.com/sports/high-school/track/article_848daa34-ace8-11e1-9687-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1y4zTowlW

This week, my step-father forwarded an email from Bob Wundrock, a high-school teammate of my dad's, to Cody to give him a glimpse at who Ken Peterson was. The two images alongside are scanned copies of an article from the Ozakee County newspaper written on June 4, 1986, 22 days after he died.

Lastly, Bob also forwarded a video of my dad doing the long jump in 1965.

Ever since I was in high school (secretly hoping to break his record myself), I have been aware of the record and every year around this time, I check the results of the state meet, to see if it survived another year. This year, it was only because of this email that I was aware that his record had been broken, mainly because it is a little harder to follow US sports here in South Africa and the seasons are backwards, meaning it feels much more like late football season then track season here.

Anyway, this day had to come and now that it has, and it is a little bittersweet. The record was a part of my dad's legacy, a piece of him that I could hold on to, and now that it is gone, it feels like I have lost a little bit of him. I was 11 years old when he died, 26 years ago, and the impact of his death still hits me like a brick sometimes. His record being broken, coupled with the article from 1986, and the video has just stirred the emotions all up again. I can't help but think, what could have been?

Now, it is pointless to walk down this road, there is nothing that can be done to change what happened, but it is inevitable from time to time to wonder. Questions will just pop into my head, like with his help, could I have been a better jumper, instead of the distance runner that I became? Or at those times of crisis, what pearls of wisdom would he have shared? The questions go on and on.

The road eventually leads to the big question of: Why? Why did this have to happen? When any tragedy occurs, it is our natural human reaction to ask why. I would love to say that over time it all makes sense, but that would be a lie. Time does heal some of the pain and life eventually moves on, but the wound left behind by the tragedy never fully heals, periodically getting reopened.

Today is Fathers Day and this tends to be a day when the pain resurfaces, particularly the question of what could have been? This morning at church, as they were celebrating fathers and had kids hug their dad and Aaron gave one of his precious hugs, I was overwhelmed with the whole thing. Last night, I realized that on May 13 (anniversary of dad's death) this year, I was 37 years old the same age as he was when he died. The question that I could not shake this morning was what if I am not around for Aaron?

Again, another question with no conclusive answer. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee for tomorrow. As is evidence by what happened to our friends in Madison, Jon & Amy, tragedy can strike at any time. Their 7 year old son died last week when a car jumped a curb, bounced off a tree and landed on the picnic table where they were eating. Absolutely tragic.

Okay, before this spirals too far downhill, tragedy is unfortunately a part of life, but we can not let it control who we are. There are ways to survive tragedy, first holding on to the love that we have for those around us, second treasuring the memories that we still have and for me personally, I have relied heavily on the hope that I have in Christ Jesus. I love my dad and look forward to seeing him again, but until that day, I miss him and wish that he were still here.

ants. perspective.

proverbs 6:6 - go watch the ants, you lazy person.  watch what they do and be wise.

so i'm reading thru proverbs these days and was reminded of this verse this morning while i was watching the ants...the ants...

man, we have a lot of ants!!  for awhile we tried to fight it: ant traps, ant spray, squashing ants, wiping ants, sweeping ants, etc, etc.  but now i think we're more at a place of acceptance and for the most part they go about their work and leave us to ours.  usually our paths cross when they seem to fall from the sky and land on your arm or something.  and the last week, or two weeks ago, we had big trouble with flies!  so i would kill the fly and the ants would come running!  they seem to be so attracted to raw meat...yum! :P

its amazing tho, to sit and watch them for a bit.  they work together as a team sometimes to carry really big things (like 1/2 a fly) or on their own they will carry some chunk of something across a huge expanse!  where are they going, how long will it take them to get there, isn't that heavy, why don't they get discouraged and give up??  these questions go thru my mind...

just one of our many ants :)

this is where the perspective comes in...  am i like that ant?  no, i don't think so.  i feel like i give up so easily.  i feel as tho i only pray for blessings and comfort in life.  i feel as tho when life throws me a long journey or a heavy burden that i give up, that i only see myself, that i don't consider the whole "ant colony."  and the thing is i don't even have to go that journey alone or carry that burden by myself...God is always there!  i don't give him the opportunity to even show me that thru my weakness i am strong, that by putting him and others first i actually reap the most.

God is so good tho!  he gives us so many opportunities to come to him.  he doesn't give up on us.  he wants the best for us, and here's the thing that bothers our human perspective, sometimes that means it won't be easy.  that doesn't mean its bad, that doesn't mean that God is bad, it just means that we don't see the whole picture.  it means that we have to TRUST that God knows what he's doing.  it means we have to release control (another society fighting inclination).  it means we have to let God take the reins...in EVERYTHING!  i think i struggle with the everything bit the most.  i can give certain things to God, the big things really, that's good right?  but what about the little things?  what about conversations with people?  what about my actions towards my family?  what about daily living in a way that brings glory to God and not in a way that i'm "comfortable" with?

wow, guys this is long!  one final thought, i'm praying now for more opportunities to trust God.  (that makes me so scared!)  but i desperately want to be drawn closer to God, to know him so intimately that i couldn't imagine a moment without him.  will you pray it too?  do you want to hunger and thirst for a God that hungers and thirsts for you?

[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / March 24, 2012]

here's what i love: growing things, here's what i hate: growing things

so one of my friends cleverly does her status as, "here's what i love and here's what i hate" all the time.  it's such a fun way of summing up a day or a situation.  often she would do "roses and thorns" with her kids over dinner before she started doing her facebook status updates that way (and maybe they still do...just haven't done dinner with them in a while, sad.).  which if you are unfamiliar with roses and thorns it's the same sort of thing, rose: what did you like about the day, thorns: what didn't you like about the day.  all that to say i often find myself thinking in those terms about something.  so the title of my note comes out of that...

so, i hate gardening.  not sure how many other supporters of that statement are out there but it's never been my favorite.  but let me tell you how much i love plants, flowers, bushes, trees, grass...other green or growing things...love, love, love!  so my cure to this obvious dilemma is to by cut flowers and live in houses where other people are in charge of the gardening. ;)  and yet somehow i find myself living in a rented house and still doing the gardening (our landlady is sneaky!  not sure how she talked us into that!).  for the most part that means we have to "mow" the grass.  i put mow in quotation marks because we don't really mow it.  it is such a small patch of grass that a law mower is not necessary.  steve uses a weed-eater on the whole thing!  and it only takes 15 minutes, maybe.

yes folks this is our "garden". here in sa, garden is used in the same way we americans would say "yard". :)

but the rest of the "garden" (that's what the south africans call a yard) is flower beds with no flowers...sad.  i've just been living with it because why sink a bunch of money into flower beds that you're renting??  and also, did i mention, i hate gardening??  so recently my solution to this problem is 2 fold.  part 1 of the plan is to "steal" plants.  i don't think it's bad, i haven't really decided.  but i walk thru the neighborhood and when there's a plant that seems to be under-appreciated, growing outside the fence, extra-large or something i just grab it.  (is that wrong?  i'm sorry if it is.  i'm still under the impression that's it not.  let me know tho.  i can stop.)  and part 2 of the plan was to entertain aaron.  he seems to really like watering things.  i think my mom got him hooked when we were in the states in june and july.  so i thought, well, i'd be entertaining him anyway might as well be productive at the same time.  so we drag out the hose and the watering-can and we water all our plants.

so far i feel our results are slow coming.  so i rather hate "growing things."  i seem to get little or no development.  i think i've killed a few things, and other things don't seem to be multiplying like i thought they might.  at the same time weeds seem to crop up everywhere!  why is it weeds are the only things that seem to be able to grow without any effort.  so i hate those "growing things" too.  because instead of revealing in the fact that i have lovely things that have just popped up into my garden all on their own and they need no help from me to survive; i have to use extra effort and try to get rid of them!  what kind of cruel twisted fate is this?

duhn da da duhn...super lawn mower man!!

so all those gardeners out there...i'm sorry.  this is not the note for you.  but for everyone else that has ever struggled to accomplish a "garden" and failed or got frustrated in the process, fist-bumps for you!  we're bros for life. ;)

[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / Oct 11, 2011]

spring in september??

it's funny all the differences just living in the southern hemisphere.  people always talk about the toilets flushing backwards...why don't they talk about spring in september?  i mean really who cares which direction the toilet flushes?  how does that affect my life??  i'm waking up these morning feeling the cool air, seeing the beautiful sunshine some days and rain others and thinking in my brain it's fall!  but guess what it's not!  the weather is on it's way to 90 degree (that's 30 celsius for all my south africa readers :)) days!!  flowers are blooming, there's no sight of leaves changing color and yet people are playing football games (in the u.s.) and i have the sudden urge to make chilli.

it's great this being the start of our second year here because there are some things that i know from last year.  not everything will be new this year.  last year at this time we lived in a different house so i find myself reminiscing about some of the things we did/learned when we lived there.  we moved into our house in harfield village last year on december 15.  it was hot!  steve's family was going to arrive soon and be here for christmas then after that it only got hotter.  i have to say it was a difficult time for me.  all my normal scheduled activities were off for christmas/summer break and i was in a new house in a new neighborhood with a 7 month old.  no air conditioning, not even a ceiling fan, our pool was green and it was HOT!  did i mention that it was hot?  so in someways i'm looking forward to a retake on that...finding a new way to survive the summer and hopefully enjoy it more.

but for now, i'm enjoying spring.  i love that the days are lengthening and that we are getting more and more sunny days.  spring and fall (here they only say autumn, they kind of laugh when i say fall :)) are definitely my 2 favorite seasons.  it's funny that i find that they are the hardest to adjust to being during different months.  but they are beautiful!  and so many amazing flowers in the spring!

[reposted from Diana's Facebook page / Sept 23, 2011]